Stay

Stay home.
Save lives.
How many?
I don’t know.
It’s definitely a lot.
Does it matter?
Just do it.
United we die.
Divided we live.
E pluribus plures.
Don’t tread on me
Or anywhere near me.
You might have germs.

Stay away.
Stay far away from me.
And everyone else.
Don’t kill my grampa!
Why would you want
To kill my grampa
You selfish bastard?
He fought in France
To protect us all
From tyranny.
And now he might die
In a nursing home
All alone
And it will be
Your fault.

You didn’t stay home yesterday.
I saw you out here
Having fun.
Non-essential fun
Where you aren’t allowed.
It’s dangerous
And unacceptable.
Why can’t you just
Stay inside
And bake bread
Like the rest of us?
We’re all in this together
So do your part
And fuck off.

You obviously don’t care
About the curve.
But you need to
Starting now.
See that red hill?
Look how tall it’s gotten.
That’s mostly your fault
You hedonistic asshole.
You’d better wise up
And help us
Flatten this fucking thing
Or we will flatten
Your face
(From a safe distance, naturally).

Go ahead. Try it.
Take one step closer.
I’ll call the cops.
Take two steps?
I’ll sneeze on you
I swear to God
And then you’ll catch
My disease, too.
Then you’re really screwed, pal.
There’s no vaccine
For what I’ve got
And there never will be.